Emilee Struss

My eyelids are heavy. Natural daylight diminishes from my room with the sunset, so I turn on the one lamp in my apartment. It was a long day.  However, I need to write. I must write.

Sometimes I feel like I have a sixth sense.

I am sure other people have this, too. And, no, I do not see dead people. If you see dead people, you should seek help immediately. My sixth sense is the feeling of time. Even more so, the sense that time is slipping away. It’s moving too fast, and I can’t stop it. I can’t accomplish all the desires that lay undiscovered before me. One of those things I desire is to inspire others through writing. Passion ignites passion. Just by following my passion to write, I can inspire others to pursue their passions.

Some evenings I sit in my cheap apartment, with thin walls, aware of it all. Aware of the students around me. All of them searching for their passion and purpose in life. Various styles of music entertain them through headphones while working on essays and projects. Outside, I hear screechy breaks from a Budweiser truck pulling up beside the liquor store. A tow truck drives by and removes a vehicle from its all too convenient parking spot. Someone knocks on my front door. Time passes in this way for each of us, unnoticed. It slips by while we deal with the oddities of life. For so many, passion gets lost in the business and busyness of life. In my apartment, a young man comes through to check the vents, and smiles at me sweetly. He is probably a student himself. Back in my room, a microwave hum tells me that one of my roommates is home. I think about unfinished homework, the fact that I have work early tomorrow morning and my heavy eyelids. I wrestle with the idea of staying up later to write.

I realize that if I fall asleep, that will be another day wasted. Sure, I attended class, went to work, and accomplished small tasks around the house. But what did I do in regards to pursuing my passion for writing? I think about all the statistics. Those living out their last breaths on earth commonly regret one thing: not pursuing their passion. I look out the window of my apartment and watch the snow drift at an angle. I am aware of it all, raw to the reality that this fire inside me to write could waste away. It could get drown out by time. By life.

Back in my apartment room, a single lamp lights a circle on my desk. The Budweiser truck has left. The tow truck took his victim and vanished. The guy checking the vents has gone. I hear my roommate’s door shut. The sun has gone down and the snow continues to sway through the air. My eyes are still heavy. The cursor on my computer blinks at me. I realize the importance of seeking out this fire within me to tell of something. To reach out and ignite the flame within others. Even with the sixth sense of time slipping away, and words unwritten, I have to write. It is my passion. It is to be pursued.

Emilee Struss recently graduated with a degree in Creative Writing from Minnesota State University, Mankato. Currently, she lives in Bellevue, Idaho, and follows several passions including rock climbing, trail running and of course… writing.